Wednesday, November 28, 2007

My Confession...

Twice in my life I have cried over a man. Once was when I had to break up with one and just felt horrible for doing it, and the second time was at realising i'd been played and in the process had fucked a lot of thing up.

The second time was the most recent. A week ago to be exact. In one drunken moment, I became tangled in a rubix cube of a love triangle and have not been quite right since.

The root cause of this problem is the focal point for my anger, lust and now shame. He has caused me to become slightly bitter in a fashion I have yet to experience.

The phrase, a hole is a hole, could possibly be this man's mantra. No emotion, no thought to the mindset of another person or people for that matter....


Having said that my mind was hardly in the most right thinking of places....i'm the jealous type unfortunately. I don't take bad news well. Still if I'd known the full extentof what had gone on....things would be different.

I've lost out on the chance of something great, that I am sorry for but moreso I am angry at the person who helped take that chance from me.

Anyone reading this who knows me will understand what all this means. Those who don't, I tell you this: Never have your cake and eat it, it only comes back to bite you on the ass.

Love's labours are lost....I would liked to have seen them bare fruit.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Old Women...hmph...Ageism against Bigots? Is it wrong?

On wednesday night the play opened! It went exceptionally well! The audience loved it, the actors loved it, the director was almost crying with relief. It was almost the perfect night except for 3 old women in the front row.

3 old women who found any use of profanity hilarious, even when it was used in a context as far from funny as you could find.

As for the references to homosexuality within the play, I thought they were going to be brought to coronary care. They giggled their way through what is one of the most heartbreaking scenes, just because it was 2 men struggling with their feelings for one another.

It got to a point where I almost had to stop on stage, it was rude and interfering. It felt like a pantomime.

I understand that people are from different generations, and might be made to feel uncomfortable by seeing this story on stage but to guffaw (and I use the term in true sincerity) as they did was both upsetting as an actor but also as a person.

My mother, who herself struggled in coming to terms with my sexuality, had to sit through people who had not one shred of culture laughing at me in what was a clearly defined, poignant and heart breaking scene listening to biggoted old women who thought the idea of 2 men, possibly having feelings for each other hilarious.

The same people who cry at the ridiculous storylines on Coronation Street, adore the campness of Paul O'Grady and have no idea of the reality behind these peoples public personas.

Never before have I felt more uncomfortable in a performance, not just in being the character but in being myself.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Out of Character for Mary Hanafin

Children from Gaelscoileanna began a campaign at Dáil Éireann today opposing Minister for Education Mary Hanafin's decision to end early total immersion in Irish-language schools.

According to a circular issued by Ms Hanafin last July, students at Gaelscoileanna will be required to take classes in English for 30 minutes each day starting from the second term of junior infants.

[Ms Hanafin's decision] flies in the face of international research and best practice
Mícheál Ó Broin, president of Gaelscoileanna Teoranta

Supporters of early total immersion say it is an effective system that results in a high level of competence in both English and Irish for pupils in Irish-medium schools.

Gaelscoileanna Teoranta began a campaign fighting for the right to maintain early immersion. It is being supported by Foras Pátrúnachta na Scoileanna Lánghaeilge; Forbairt Naíonraí Teoranta; Comhdháil Náisiúnta na Gaeilge and Conradh na Gaeilge.

Speaking at the start of the campaign in Dublin this morning, Mícheál Ó Broin, president of Gaelscoileanna Teoranta, said Ms Hanafin's decision "flies in the face of international research and best practice".

He said the decision is based "on the questionable findings of the inspectorate in one school.

"The result of this is the proposed ending of early immersion education and a devastating blow to the Gaelscoil movement, to the Irish language and to freedom of a parent's right to choose within the education system," he said.

The Department of Education move is the subject of legal action, with the High Court yesterday granting a temporary injunction restraining Ms Hanafin from implementing the policy change.

There are 168 Gaelscoileanna in Ireland, with another 30 likely to come on stream over the next three years.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Time to Break my Legs...

6 weeks, 4 hangovers, 13 Statoil Rolls, 8 near death experiences, 1 buzz-cut and a tantrum on from the day of our first rehearsal, the time has arrived.

CURTAIN UP.....well there isnt a curtain but you know what I mean.

I'm exhausted from it all, but I can't wait. It will be so much crazy, nervous fun! And finally, I have the perfect trousers with no camel toe! Yay!!!

So come one, come all....

ALL NATIONS WELCOME IN DOLLY WEST'S KITCHEN.


Anyway, hell was tolerable today. My move from Hell to Limbo has begun with a lengthy application and the decision now rests with our resident overlord...

Ugh, my head hurts....


Boy who is liked is being funny....in a good way. I like :P

I really should write thse when I have more focus and am not drifting off to sleep...

Night all.


P.S. Yes it is you

Saturday, November 10, 2007

short but sweet

I don't know what to say tonight....

Its been an odd....rough few days! Work, sorry, I mean Hell has gotten painful. I think I'm moving from hell to limbo next week though. I need the change of scenery.

The play, well the play is nearly there, thank Christ. I really need a holiday when its over and can I just say, DOWN WITH LONG JOHNS! What were people thinking when they invented those!

Oh and news for all, I like someone....

more tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Oglaigh na hEireann

I just got the uniform for the play....original vintage surplus. I must put a photo up. Its very Michael Collins-esque. But its strange, the feeling I get when I put it on. Its not quite patriotism, but something along those lines. I think pride is more appropriate...

Well except for the trousers....they're a little on the tight side and I have to say, some minor camel toe action goin on but that will be fixed. Honestly, since I started working in Hell I've piled on the pound and my car (known hereafter as Susie) doesn't help much either.

Diet, gym or both??? Je ne sais pas as I don't think I will have the time or paitence for either. I hate to be one of those people who worry about the way I look but I can't help it. Damn my friends for being pretty....you know who you are....grrrr......

Oh god, slap me now....reading back I realise how pathetic it sounds!
Right....ENOUGH!

I hereby found the MWMS (Men With Moobs Society). A calm, relaxing and non-threatening environment where like minded and afflicted individuals can meet, talk to, support and advise each other.

MOOBS shall one day inherit the earth. Its not all bad, I could make a mean drag act as a result. lol

Speaking of which, kudos to all in the AML. I hear twas just *shudder* Fabulous! I'd love to have gone but as my last post reminds me, I was dealing with other matters at the time. Stupid men...

But anyway, the Uniform. Yes, It is absolutely Beautiful. Its strange how it can transform how you act, move, even feel. Yes, Pride is the word. I feel Proud wearing it. And despite the fact I have not a military moulded bone in my body, it does feel as if you are wearing History. From the cap to the buttons, the Harp insignia brand the owner with a Republican streak that even the most neutral of bodies could not supress.

But still the camel toe trousers..... :(

hmmm.....

I thought I'd give you all a quickie before I dash off to rehearsal. Stop laughing Mike it's not meant like that....filthy minded fool :P

Though having said that I wouldn't mind it that much....

Constant work and rehearsal along with the relatively recent demise of a semi relationship means that....well....I ain't exactly gettin much lol. (I can see the comments now)

In fact the stuff in the play is probably as close as i've come to physical romantic contact in a while now. That probably down to me being bitter about said semi-relationship (no offence if the other party is reading). But ya, many things I should have said, never were. And they now manifest themselves occasionally in the form of a major mood swing here and there....

Stephen Fry did a documentary about the secret life of the manic depressive. Going from massive highs to devastating lows....bi polar disorder....i think i'm slightly like that at the moment.


Bi - Polar


At least I'm not cold.....


Though having said that, Justin West (my character in the play) is quite like that too. Perhaps I'm blurring the lines between reality and the stage again....

Not that its such a bad thing, I do love a Donegal accent.

From Dante's Seventh Circle....Honest....

So remember that Hell place I was talking about....I'm here...like right now!
And Hell froze over today...I have to work Christmas day. Now yes, I did volunteer but it was more in the " Sure, no problem....(If I say yes they'll be nice and give me a nice early one, so I'll get christmas dinner)". But No, Jeff will spend his christmas telling poor saps of children that Santa clearly forgot to register their phones and no, they won't get the're free credit till sometime in the new year and tell the lonely prick who rings in to complain of coverage issues that Rudolf knocked out the mast in croke park, so go stuff yourself with the microwave dinner and leave me alone and thank you, call again.


But anyway, I have to say I'm liking this blog thing...reports say you are too which is always a plus, I think.

Celine Dion concert.....hmmmm......that could be fun. I'm partial to a bit of french canadian warbling m.moiselle Dion. Doings are a transpiring.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my other music....but even the most straight laced of his has a little bit of a weakness for something completely different.

Power of Love in Croke Park would sound pretty feckin amazing I imagine.

Now Eurovision in croke park.....That's a party!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Dolly West's Kitchen


DOLLY WEST'S KITCHEN

By Frank McGuinness

Directed by John Anthony Murphy

Belltable Arts Centre, Limerick

Wednesday 14th to Sunday 18th November 2007



Welcome....

After so long considering what to do about my grievances, musings, thoughts and bitchings; so long having them wrapped up in my sweet little mind, I've decided to unleash them on the world. No man, woman, child, Political Party, NGO, pub, club, venue or publication will be spared if they cross my path.

The life of a gay twenty something in this fair country is something I think has been neglected in Irish Media outlets. Sure we have bars, clubs, youth groups but do people really know what the "scene" (shudder) is or even more intriguing the non-scene? What really goes on inside the rainbow flagged doors of this country? And aside from that most visual of places, do people know what being Gay means in the context of 21st century Ireland?

This isn't a blog about being gay, worry not dear readers. That was just to set the background of where my life presently sits along this mortal coil. My life isnt dictated by sexuality, but I am fascinated by those lives which are. But my current mood means that I need a rant.... thats out of the way for the moment though.

Today I took a holiday...I needed one....badly. I work in an outbound call centre for god's sake. With the possible exception of the Fire Service, its about as close as you can get to hell. Add to that, that I am in the final week of rehearsal for a play that has taken so much out of me in the last 5 weeks, I can't wait for it to finish. Dolly West's Kitchen, by Frank McGuinness. Frank who is now the resident writer in UCD, is a bit of an odd creature. We're never quite sure what he's trying to say, which is a bit of a balls really, espeacially for me.

But alas it does deal with a lot of "deep shit" as some might say. Very deep...so deep I'm afraid to explain it to my mother as it mirrors an all to familiar situation in my own reality.

We're close now though, and its taken on a life of its own......Donegal never sounded so risquee...